BabylonBee.com
LAFAYETTE, IN—Police have shut down a local Olive Garden after a man was tragically crushed under a mountain of freshly grated parmesan cheese. According to several eyewitnesses, he stared down the waitress as she grated pounds and pounds of cheese, and refused to say “when”.
“Ok, say ‘when'”, said the waitress as she began grating the cheese. According to diners who saw the accident, the man locked eyes with his server and sat in stoic silence as mountains of cheese piled all around him. “Now? No? Do you want more? Ok…” said the waitress as she kept going. The man remained silent as the cheese level rose above his face, presumably suffocating him.
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